


Interlude: -273 C, but I'm still 0K

by xylophones



Series: Zero Gravity 'verse [7]
Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: 4 + 1, Alternate Universe - Space, Alternate Universe - Star Trek Fusion, Established Relationship, Families of Choice, Fluff, Friendship, Humor, Light Pining, M/M, Non-Linear Narrative, Science Fiction, Slice of Life, Star Trek AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-20
Updated: 2019-06-23
Packaged: 2019-11-26 03:02:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,267
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18174986
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xylophones/pseuds/xylophones
Summary: You’d think, commanding a starship for more than two years, that Yuuri would be used to all this.You’d be wrong.(Or: 4 slices in the life of Katsuki Yuuri as he goes into his second year of running a starship + 1 throwback to his academy days)





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> it’s been a while  
> i just wanna start this off by saying: if you follow me on tumblr/ have been following me for a while, you have probably seen all of this before. i just realized that i had a lot of 0g stuff that i’d written for prompts and asks that i never added here so i dressed them up a little and put them all in one place!! keep a look out for the next part of the series !

01.

“It’s here!”

Minami’s head snaps up from where he was bent over, trying to decipher Yuuri’s loopy handwriting to see exactly _how_ long he was supposed to incubate the petri dishes–– because he _swears_ something’s _moving_ in there. Yuuri bustles into the lab, hair bouncing and lab coat fluttering, holding a box almost as big as him.

“What’s here, Commander? What’s in the box?”

Minami abandons Yuuri’s notes (and resolutely _ignores_ the hissing coming from the incubator) and follows Yuuri as he flits around the lab, grabbing gloves and goggles and _is that a fireproof apron?_

“ _It_ ’s here, Minami!”

Yuuri finally finds a clear lab bench and sets down the box, fussing with the tape and seals.

Minami peers over Yuuri’s shoulder, trying to see what’s in the heavily padded styrofoam container. He rocks back and forth on his heels, trying to displace all his energy and avoid jostling Yuuri. He’s just so excited! Yuuri always gets the _coolest_ things shipped to the lab. This one they picked up on Elion 9, right after refueling.

“What’s in it?” Minami asks again. This time Yuuri sighs and turns fully away from the box to look at him. Minami struggles not to fidget.

“It’s very important that you don’t tell anyone about what I’m about to show you, okay?” Yuuri straightens his glasses, looking very serious and _super_ scientific. Minami is so impressed. “And don’t scream when I open the box.”

“Of course! You got it, Comma–– I mean, _Yuuri!_ No problem, _Yuuri!_ ”

Yuuri shakes his head, smiling fondly. He gestures for Minami to sit. Then, he gently lifts the lid of the box.

“What’s–– Oh, _quiznak!”_

Inside the box is a large salamander, bright pink with spots and about the size of Minami’s entire face.

“Hello there, Brian,” Yuuri coos. He picks up the salamander. It immediately snuggles down into Yuuri’s hand, already won over. The Katsuki Yuuri Effect, as Phichit would call it.

“U-Uh….” Brian the salamander looks at Minami. It hisses, letting out a little puff of breath, breathing out a small flame. Minami struggles not to shriek.

“C-Commander Yuuri,” Minami says quietly, his voice about 3 octaves higher than usual, “ _why_ do you have a fire breathing salamander?”

Yuuri strokes Brian’s back, carefully avoiding what looks to be razor sharp spikes lining its spine. “Oh, well. Starfleet told us we couldn’t adopt any more dogs, so––”

He gestures to Brian. Minami almost faints.

 

 

02.

They’ve been walking through the dark cave for fifteen minutes when the singing starts.

Yuuri begins quietly, almost to himself. The only reason Viktor notices is because he _always_ notices the things Yuuri does. A side effect of being utterly in love.

“ _This is awful!”_ he mutters in a singsong voice, “ _we’re all going to die! I wanna go back to the ship!”_

His voice pitches up at the end, causing it to echo down the very spooky cave, reverberating off the stone walls around them. The rest of their landing party turns back to look at Yuuri, who remains oblivious.

“ _I’m too young to die!_ ” he continues. “ _Tell my family I love them! Someone needs to feed my dog!”_

“Katsudon!” Yuri barks. “Are you _singing_? What the fuck?”

“Uh, sorry?” Yuuri blinks. “I’m scared.”

“So, your response to fear is to _sing_?”

“It’s a surprisingly good coping mechanism,” Phichit chimes in. _“This cave is scary as hell! I think something scaley just touched my foot!”_

_“We’re all going to die!”_ Yuuri sings along.

“Yuuri,” Viktor says, terrified. “Sweetheart. _Solnyshko_ , love of my life. You have a beautiful voice and I love you more than anything in the entire universe, but this singing thing is _really_ creepy.”

Yuuri makes a vaguely sad face. Viktor trips all over himself trying to take back his words.

“Never mind! It’s fine, continue singing if it makes you feel better!”

“ _It’s the final countdown!_ ” Yuuri sings. Phichit laughs and hums some sort of melody.

“An Earth classic!” he crows. “Wait, wait, I have a better one!”

Phichit stops walking and dramatically throws himself at Yuuri–– who, of course, catches him. Yuuri staggers under his weight, giggling as Phichit sings, _“I just died in your arms tonight!”_

“Oh, that’s a good one!”

“What kind of cursed Earth death chant is that?!” Yuri screeches.

The cave echoes ominously. Phichit and Yuuri continue singing.

Viktor turns to Chris. “I don’t understand what’s going on.”

“I don’t either, but I’m enjoying it.” Chris grins. “It’s better than slogging through this cave in silence, waiting for something to swoop in and kill us all.”

“ _Kesha!”_ Phichit gasps suddenly, pressing a hand to his chest. “How could we forget Kesha?!”

“What is a ‘Kesha?’” Viktor asks. He’s ignored.

“ _Kesha_ ,” Yuuri repeats, with the same reverence that most people use when speaking about deities. He and Phichit skip ahead into the darkness, lanterns bouncing.

“ _Let’s make the most of tonight, ‘cause we’re gonna die young!”_

“I am so concerned,” Viktor says.

“I’m honestly not sure if this is a ‘humans are weird’ thing or just a ‘Phichit and Yuuri are weird’ thing,” Chris replies.

_“We’ll keep dancing ‘til we die!”_

 

(Later, in a Starfleet mission report filing office, orbiting Earth:

“…and then Commander Katsuki and Science Officer Chulanont started to sing classical Earth music for the entire time we were exploring the caves, much to the horror of the rest of the crew,” Jessa reads off the Enterprise’s latest mission report. She turns to Greg and Ix’ep next to her.

“Captain Nikiforov is _so_ full of shit.”)

 

 

03.

Halfway through their bi-weekly dog-accompanied D&D session (dubbed “Dungeons, Dark Matter, and Dogs” by Sara) Yuuri discovers one of the fundamental truths of the universe.

He’s on the couch in Sara and Mila’s quarters, Makkachin’s metal legs folded up next to him and her fluffy poodle body draped over his legs. He scratches her behind her ears. She woofs robotically.

“Any dog is a lap dog,” he says, with the voice of a man on the precipice of the next greatest scientific discovery, “when you have big thighs and determination.”

Seung-Gil nods sagely. Queen Seondeok is curled up in his lap, nosing along his jaw and snuffling quietly. Her razor sharp teeth are centimeters away from his jugular. Seung-Gil is unbothered, lazily rolling his dice around in his palm.

“Couldn’t agree more, Yuuri,” he says.

“Can we also agree that every dog is a puppy, no matter how old they are?” Sara says. She’s barely visible from underneath the giant pile of golden retriever in her lap.

“Of course,” Yuuri replies. He’s well aware of the fact that Bowtie is about 4.6 billion years old, made of pure light, and is _actually_ sunshine shaped like a dog. Sara and Mila adopted him one day, from who knows where. He’s immortal. And a puppy. A very good puppy.

“Okay, I’m glad that we’re all on the same page.” Sara shifts slightly and Bowtie bathes the room in golden light. “So, you meet in a tavern….”

 

 

04.

There are a couple things about local legend, Katsuki Yuuri, that all the citizens of Hasetsu know:

Commander Katsuki is the first person from Hasetsu to be accepted into Starfleet. They are all very proud about this.

Hasetsu has been gifted with millions of Credits for infrastructure and community centers and even an _ice skating rink_. The mysterious benefactor is supposed to be anonymous, but that kind of money can only come from a Starfleet officer.

Katsuki Yuuri is coming to visit over the summer and he’s bringing his mysterious boyfriend.

Mari doesn’t know how everyone found out about Viktor and Yuuri’s upcoming visit. Someone at the onsen probably overheard her parents talking about it. Any gossip about Yuuri in Hasetsu always spreads like wildfire.

(“Is it true that your brother is dating Starfleet’s best officer?” someone asks her.

Mari glares. “My brother _is_ Starfleet’s best officer.”)

Mari has resigned herself to shooing away nosey neighbors while Viktor and Yuuri stay with them. This is harder than it sounds, because apparently Viktor loves the citizens of Hasetsu almost as much as they love Yuuri.

She only leaves them alone on the street for five minutes and when she comes back there’s a small crowd gathered around Yuuri. Viktor is standing quietly off to the side against a wall, watching with amusement as his boyfriend is absorbed into a glob of well-meaning, curious neighbors.

Mari zeros in on the fish-shaped cake in his hand. “Was that free?”

Viktor grins. “There are perks to dating the face of Starfleet.”

Mari snorts. She joins Viktor in leaning back against the wall, watching the vendors shower a very flustered Yuuri with praise. Viktor doesn’t even both hiding the pure adoration and love shining out from every pore.

Viktor is different. Every time she’s seen him, through the holo videos that Yuuri sends them, he’s always had a certain weight to him. Something almost royal, ethereal, otherworldly.

Here he looks grounded, softer. Maybe it’s something about Earth.

Yuuri laughs at something one of the vendors said. The effect on Viktor is instantaneous. His entire being lights up, mouth tugging up at the corners, eyes fixed on Yuuri like he’s the center of the universe. Yuuri catches him looking and waves, like the giant dork he is. Viktor huffs out a little laugh, practically glowing.

Mari watches and thinks that if anyone deserves this kind of infinite love, it’s these two.

“When you two get married––”

Viktor chokes on his taiyaki.

“–– don’t forget to come back and visit. Bring me back a space rock or something.”

Viktor whips his head around to look at her, eyes wide. “We’re not–– I’m not–– h-how’d you know––?”

Mari waves a hand. “I could see how much you two love each other from the other side of the galaxy. Just be good to him. Make sure he’s good to you, too.”

“I don’t even have a ring yet,” Viktor says absently, looking stunned but happy.

“Do something sappy and propose to him with one of Saturn’s rings. Isn’t that what you space nerds do?” Mari smirks.

“Yuuri deserves more than one of Saturn’s rings,” Viktor says earnestly, and it’s just about the cutest thing Mari’s ever seen. “He deserves an entire galaxy’s worth of rings.”

“I’m pretty sure all he needs is you,” she says, and with that her Sappy Older Sister quota has been reached, so she leans over to ruffle Viktor’s infuriatingly perfect hair. He squawks, but doesn’t move away.

(Later, they walk home together with the light of the setting sun. The stars and space stations twinkle above them. Mari hangs back and watches Yuuri and Viktor tangle their hands together, caught up in each other’s gravity, two stars orbiting.)

 

 

+01.

“You’re in love.”

Viktor snaps his gaze away from the view outside the cockpit and looks over at Yuuri. He’s got his seatbelt unbuckled, sitting with his feet tucked underneath him, back leaned up against the side of the jet. He’s fixing Viktor with a small, knowing smirk.

“Um, am I?” Viktor squeaks. He grips the control wheel tightly.

Yuuri nods sagely. “Mhmm. You can’t fool me, Viktor.”

Viktor gulps. He never thought Yuuri would call him out on his unrequited crush while they’re soaring 39 thousand feet in the air above northern Europe. He wonders if crashing the jet will be easier than sitting through this conversation.

“You’re in love with the Earth,” Yuuri says, smiling sunnily. “Why else would you take me on all these trips? You’re just using it as an excuse to see sight-see, I see right through you.”

Viktor lets out a breath of relief. “Y-Yeah! I just… love looking at the scenery. Yes.”

“I don’t blame you,” Yuuri says. He looks out the window. “It’s a beautiful planet.”

The land stretches out below them like a roadmap. Rolling fields and rich greenery dotted with the concrete veins of cities, their lights little pinpricks of light like stars. It’s just a little past sunset and the sky is painted a dusky purple, the clouds looking fluffy and cotton candy pink.

Viktor has to admit, it’s a lovely view.

“We don’t get sunsets on space stations,” Viktor says. Yuuri’s eyebrows raise in the adorable way they do when he’s genuinely surprised.

“Really?” he asks. “I guess that makes sense, but I can’t imagine that!”

“I was eighteen when I saw my first sunset,” Viktor tells him. He switches the jet to autopilot and turns to face Yuuri fully. “It was on the first day I moved to Earth for Starfleet. Obviously, I’d visited planets before. I’ve been to planets with more than one sun. But I’ve never stayed long enough to watch a sunset.”

“What are the odds? We both watched our first sunset on Earth.”

Viktor takes in the familiar sight of Yuuri curled up in the passenger seat of his jet, silhouetted by the recently set sun and bathed in the soft pastels of twilight. His smile is wide and bright and his eyes are the warmest brown Viktor has ever seen. He’s ethereal in the blushing light; he’s a star personified.

“You know, you’re right,” Viktor says softly. “I guess I am a little in love.”

 

 


	2. Is your name Na? Because you're sodium fine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> +6 more looks into the lives of our favorite space crew

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> another disclaimer: these are another batch of prompts that i filled on tumblr a little bit after i posted the first chapter, so if you follow me on tumblr you've probably seen these before (except the last one)!!

01.

Sara knows something’s up the moment she steps into her and Mila’s shared quarters.

It’s clean, for one. Their tiny apartment aboard the Enterprise is much like their shared home on Mila’s home planet was: full of various electronic devices and random projects. Once they had a giant mechanical bull in their living room for a solid month. But tonight, the lights are dimmed and the halls are clear of any engineering pamphlets and mechanical bits. A heavenly smell is wafting in from the kitchen.

“Mila?” Sara calls out. She lets their front door swish shut behind her and pads down the hall, looking around for a glimpse of her wife. “Sweetheart?”

“Sara!” There’s the sound of Mila running and then she’s barreling towards Sara and sweeping her into a hug.

“Happy––”

“What’s––”

They both stop, laughing. Sara presses a quick kiss to Mila’s cheek.

“You first,” she says.

Mila beams. “Happy anniversary!”

Sara blinks and then laughs again. “Honey, you already wished me a happy anniversary. This morning, remember?”

“I know, but I wanted to say it again.” Mila takes Sara’s hand and leads her further into the apartment. “I have a surprise for you.”

“A surprise? I thought we agreed to keep it lowkey this year.” She’s pretty sure they’re still in trouble for last year, when Sara rigged every electronic screen to display a running scroll of “Happy anniversary, Mila” along the bottom.

Totally worth it.

“It’s lowkey, I promise! I made paella and….” Mila smirks.

“And what?”

With a dramatic flourish Mila steps fully into the living room, gesturing to the space above their couch. Where there once was a blank wall (with a tiny, itty bitty scorch mark, but that isn’t Sara’s fault she _swears_ she turned off the blow torch––) is now a framed painting. It looks like a star map, the constellations spilled across the canvas artfully.

“I commissioned Phichit for it.” Mila takes Sara’s hand. “Do you like it?”

Sara squints at the labels around the stars. “Is that… ?”

“It’s the night sky, the night we met.” Mila smiles, sweet and soft and all for Sara.

“Mila,” Sara says very seriously, holding Mila firmly by her shoulders, “you are the fuckin’ _cutest_ thing in the entire galaxy.”

Mila squeaks, collapsing forward and burying her giggles in Sara’s neck.

“ _Sara_ ,” she whines, squirming a little. It’s rare that Mila is so flustered so Sara milks it for all it’s worth.

“Aw, _baby,_ ” she coos, rocking her gently back and forth. “Look at you. _Adorable_.”

“No, _you_ are.”

Sara tightens her arms around Mila and lets her eyes drift over to the framed map. It’s beautiful and intricate in the way that all of Phichit’s works are.

“You know,” Sara drawls, pulling back so she can see Mila’s face, “it’s a miracle I recognized the star map. I wasn’t really paying attention to anything, too busy getting lost in your eyes.”

Mila’s face turns even redder. “That’s so cheesy.”

“It’s not! It’s true!” Sara insists. “I didn’t do _any_ of my diplomatic duties that night. I literally just hung out with you the whole time.”

Mila and Sara met on the last night of a two week long conference discussing the renewal of a load of peace treaties between the Federation and Mila’s home planet, Perdix. Sara was freshly graduated from the Academy and there with strict instructions to “foster good relationships with the Perdixian space exploration department.”

Sara thinks she “fostered good relationships,” considering she _married_ one of their most awarded security experts.

She refocuses on the map. Phichit managed to perfectly capture the beautiful lilac of the Perdixian night sky. It makes her miss home.

“We should go back and visit soon,” Sara says, tugging playfully at a lock of Mila’s hair. “I miss your mom’s cooking.”

Mila rolls her eyes. “You are the only living thing in this system _and_ the next that actually likes my mother’s cooking, but alright. I think we deserve a vacation, especially after the whole robot fighting ring disaster.”

Now it’s Sara’s turn to flush. “In my defence, nowhere in the contract I signed does it say I _can’t_ repurpose old droids and make them fight to the death.”

“Sara, you strapped a knife to a roomba.”

“Okay, first of all that was _all_ Yurio––”

Mila cuts her off with a laugh and it’s such a warm, familiar sound that Sara melts immediately.

“How about instead of bringing up the death roomba we eat the delicious meal that my wonderful, thoughtful, gorgeous, incredible––”

“Sara!”

“–– amazing wife prepared for us. Then we go annoy Viktor into giving us a vacation.”

Mila grins, leading Sara into the kitchen.

“Sounds like a plan, love.”

 

 

02.

When Phichit sees Yuuri in full landing mission gear and a leg brace his immediate response is:

“Yuuri, no.”

“Yuuri, _yes_ ,” Yuuri answers back without hesitation.

Phichit has spent almost a decade of his life being Yuuri Katsuki’s best friend and he still doesn’t know why he expects anything different.

The mission, surprisingly, goes off without a hitch. Phichit, Yuri, and Makkachin form a protective triangle around Yuuri at all times, ignoring Viktor’s insistent whining. He was actually in an entirely different part of the galaxy, tending to some captainly duties or something. He insists on HoloTiming Yuuri every second of the day, though, which means they’re all subject to his loud declarations of love and dramatic, longing sighs.

(It’s cute, Phichit will be the first to admit. But after the first 5 minutes it stops being cute and starts being a _distraction from science_ and that is something Phichit can’t stand for.)

The problem arises when they get back to the ship and Yuuri reaches down and pulls a small, leafy plant from the inside of his leg brace.

“Katsudon,” Yuri deadpans. “What the fuck.”

Yuuri blinks. “What? We ran out of space in the containers and I couldn’t leave this little guy behind.”

“It has _teeth_.”

“Those aren’t teeth, they’re digestive spikes, Yura.”

Yuri looks at Yuuri, then at the plant, then at Phichit. “Help.”

“Yuuri,” Phichit says patiently, “we can’t use that, it’s contaminated. It was in your leg brace.”

“ _Contaminated_?” Yuuri gasps, clutching the small plant to his chest. “This plant isn’t a sample, it’s my _friend_.”

Phichit cracks a smile. “You say that _every time_.”

“Because all plants are my friends, Phichit!”

Phichit weighs his options. He _could_ gently scold Yuuri for endangering his own health _or…._

“Okay, I won’t tell Seung Gil you’re going on missions in a leg brace and using it to smuggle in plants _if_ you get Starfleet to buy us new star mapping cameras.”

Yuri gapes at him. “You’re supposed to be the responsible one!”

Yuuri smiles, cuddling his tiny, sharp new plant friend. “Deal!”

 

 

03.

“–– and we beat my previous time by 50 whole points, Mama! It was amazing!”

Viktor’s voice echoes, loud and bright, around the hangar where Katya is doing maintenance on her jet. She has their holo video chat on speaker and she’s been listening to Viktor gush about his newest friend for the past hour. She’s never heard him so _excited_ about a new friend. It’s adorable.

“He’s really something,” Viktor says dreamily. Katya doesn’t need to see the hologram projection to know her son is blushing.

“You really like this boy, huh Vitya?” Katya asks. She tightens a bolt on the underside of her engine.

“Well–– I mean––” Viktor sputters. “Yeah, I do.”

Katya chuckles. She reaches for a different wrench. “I’m glad. Remember, there’s more to life than your academy classes. Go out, make friends, meet cute boys.”

Katya tries not to worry too much, but it’s in her nature. Viktor has always been determined, goal-oriented. She knew he’d excel at whatever he put his mind to. But under all the charisma and bright smiles is a kind of loneliness that Katya recognizes. He reminds her so much of herself, before she met Lilia and Yakov and Viktor’s father.

“I–– he’s not cute!” Viktor squeaks. “I mean, he is, but–– that’s not–– I like him for different reasons!”

“Like?” Katya prompts. She rolls out from under her jet. Viktor’s hologram is flushed bright red.

“He’s really smart,” Viktor mumbles, looking shy. It’s a nice change from the way he usually calls her, all exhausted from any one of the million classes he seems to be taking. “He works hard. He really likes dogs, too.”

“Ah, good,” Katya smiles. “That could’ve been a deal breaker.”

“I really want him to be my co-pilot, Mama.” Viktor chews his lip. “Is it too soon to ask him to switch his entire program for me?”

“Well, didn’t you say you already asked him, Vitya?”

“Oh, right.” Viktor’s brow furrows. “You’re right, oh no. It’s definitely too soon.”

Katya laughs a little to herself. She wishes that she could reach over and ruffle his hair.

“Vitya,” she says, softly. “I don’t know much about your Yuuri, just what you’ve told me, but I do know you. Don’t worry too much about if it’s too soon or if you’re coming off too strong. Just be _you_ , Vitya. Everything else will follow.”

Viktor, the big softie he is, sniffles a little. “Thank you, Mama.”

“Smile, Vitya. You finally met someone who can keep up with you, that’s rare,” Katya wipes her brow before getting back under her jet, resuming her work. “Now, tell me more about this boy.”

“Well, last week I used my jet to take him to New York. Oh, the _food_ here, Mama, you _have_ to visit….”

 

 

04.

David is a good guy.

He’s not the best student or the best looking dude, but he likes to think he’s a good guy. He’d make a good boyfriend, he thinks. He likes making his friends happy, so he thinks that would probably extend to any potential significant others.

Potential significant others like, maybe, the cute boy in his organic chemistry lab.

This semester has been a mess of trying to pass his classes and trying to _not_ embarrass himself in front of Superstar Student and resident Cute Nerd Yuuri Katsuki. Today David has finally mustered up the courage to ask him out on a date. He was just heading to his room when he saw Yuuri on the dorm roofs, frantically waving a data pad around, and decided that it was now or never.

You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take, right?

David climbs the stairs to get to the roof, which also doubled as a kind of garden for dorm residents. On the way up he practiced what he was going to say in his head. Not too forward, not too subtle. Does Yuuri like coffee? He must, he’s always at the library late at night. Great! David will ask Yuuri Katsuki–– receiver of perfect scores in ochem and probably capable of killing a man with his thumb–– to get coffee. With him. In a date situation.

No big deal.

He pushes open the door of the roof to see Yuuri precariously balanced on an empty bucket, holding his data pad over his head.

“Um, is this a bad time?”

Yuuri whips his head around, spotting David awkwardly hovering by the door.

“David!” Yuuri Katsuki–– David heard he once went to a party held by the navigation students and _pole danced_ –– hops down, gracefully, from the bucket. “Hey! No, it’s fine, I was just––”

Yuuri breaks off, waving the data pad around more.

“Is everything okay?”

“Great!” Yuuri smiles, then deflates a little. “Okay, actually not so great. I was calling my–– uh, Viktor, and the connection cut out. We’re paying so much tuition, you’d figure Starfleet could at give us good wifi.”

Viktor… like Viktor Nikiforov. Oh. Oh, well–– okay. That’s fine. This is fine.

“It’s not a big deal, it’s just––” to David’s horror, Yuuri Katsuki, with his adorable squishy cheeks and cute chunky glasses, starts to tear up a little. “We just haven’t been able to talk in a while. He’s on a starship, new mission, you know? And the one time we have time to talk the s-stupid wifi won’t work….”

David sighs. He knows it was a long shot anyway. And Yuuri looks so upset about not being able to talk to his Viktor and––

And David is a good dude. So he makes a decision.

“Don’t tell anyone,” he starts, “but me and my roommate set up a high speed network in our room. We use it to play video games online.”

Yuuri perks up.

“You could use it to call. I mean, if you want?”

Yuuri beams. “I–– is that okay?”

David smiles back. It’s hard not to, when faced with Yuuri’s smile. “Of course.”

Okay, so David doesn’t end the day with a date with Yuuri Katsuki, but he does end it as better friends with him. And honestly? After seeing the way Yuuri beams when Viktor’s face pops up on his data pad, it’s worth it.

 

 

05.

“Chris! Viktor!” Yuuri spots his friends making their way down the pier. They finally, _finally_ have a day off from class and so the three of them decided to explore San Francisco for a bit while Phichit finished up some lab work. As they get closer, Viktor seems to stumble.

“Yuuri,” Viktor says slowly. “What...?” He points at Yuuri’s shirt.

Yuuri looks down at his shirt. It’s a pastel pink crop top, one of his favorites. “It says ‘biologists take cellfies.’ Get it? Like selfies, but… cells… Viktor, are you okay?”

While Yuuri was speaking Viktor’s cheeks had grown redder and redder. He’s now the same shade as a tomato.

Yuuri frowns. “Do you… not like the joke?”

“No!” Viktor sputters. He waves his arms frantically. “The pun is great! Hilarious! I am dying of laughter! Ha!”

Yuuri looks over at Chris, who looks like he’s trying to hold in a laugh. “Is he okay?”

“I’m sure he’ll be fine,” Christ says, waving a hand. Viktor continues to choke. “Yuuri, how many more of these shirts do you own?”

“Like, the science pun crop tops?” Yuuri pauses. “That’s basically my entire wardrobe, outside of the Starfleet cadet uniform.”

Viktor wails. Yuuri and Chris ignore him.

“I have one that says ‘A marine biologist is only happy once he finds his porpoise,’” Yuuri ticks off on his fingers, “and one that has a mushroom that says ‘I’m a fungi,’ and another that has a hydrocarbon with two double bonds and says ‘I’m diene on the inside’ and… Christ, okay why are _you_ laughing?”

“Yuuri, please, I’m begging you,” Christ gasps in between giggles. “Please wear one of them again next time, _please_.”

“Okay,” Yuuri smiles hesitantly. “I mean, the puns aren’t _that_ funny, but sure.”

“Yuuri, you are _adorable_.” Chris pats Viktor’s back. “Now, come on, let’s go before Viktor turns into a tree with all this pining.”

“What?”

“Nothing!”

 

 

06.

“No,” Yuuri says sternly, trying to look serious. He absolutely crumples when Makka lets out a whiny, robotic “woof!”

“...Okay, fine,” Yuuri sighs defeated. He doesn’t know why he even bothers pretending to put up a fight. Both he and Makka know that he’ll follow her furry butt to the ends of the universe. “Okay, let’s go into the dog park.”

Yuuri gets Zara to pilot down a shuttle to the planet they’re currently docked at and navigates his way to the closest dog park, tugging Makka along gently behind him.

Yuuri knows he’s made a mistake the second he steps into the dog park. One, Makka starts barking like crazy, running around his legs and tangling her LightBeam leash around his legs. Her heavy metal hind legs dig into the artificial grass. Yuuri would find it absolutely adorable if he didn’t also know that he’d have to clean the dirt from all her hinges and joints later.

The second thing about the dog park is that there are, predictably, dogs _everywhere_.

Now. Yuuri is a firm believer in the idea that if something is furry and/or fluffy and/or soft in any way, moves on four (or more) legs and is a _good_ creature, then it’s a dog. Case closed. Most of the time, if you ask if it’s a dog, it’s a dog. This is the rule that Yuuri has lived all 25 years of his life on, and he stands by it.

But, even he can admit that some of the ‘dogs’ in this dog park are… using a very liberal definition of the word dog.

That doesn’t make them any less adorable. Yuuri struggles to _not_ adopt every dog in sight.

“Boof!”

Yuuri looks down to see that Makkachin has made a new friend. A small, scaley dog with webbed feet is sniffing around Makka’s paws, tilting its head curiously. It lets out another gentle bark, exposing it’s razor sharp teeth in the process.

“Well, hello there,” Yuuri coos. He untangles himself from Makka’s leash and kneels down next to the dog. “Aren’t you the cutest thing?”

The dog hisses. Yuuri melts.

Makka woofs, gently nudging the other dog with her head away from Yuuri. Yuuri reaches over and unhooks her collar from the leash and watches her and her new friend run off, barking playfully and sending sparks and slime clumps flying.

“Dogs,” a voice next to him sighs in exasperation, “how can they all be so good and yet so troublesome.”

Yuuri turns around. Before him is a very tiny, very frazzled looking human, holding about half a dozen LightBeam leashes.

“I’m Xena,” they introduce themself, “professional dog handler. Or, well, pet handler technically. But I think they should all be classified as dogs.”

Yuuri Katsuki–– one of Starfleet’s highest ranking officers, First Officer of the fleet’s largest research vessel, awarded diplomat–– gasps. “You have my dream job.”

Xena smiles wryly. “Ah, I get that a lot. If only it paid better, I’m trying to get my little brother through university.”

Yuuri thinks for a second. They do have a large amount of pets on the Enterprise. And Yuuri was a student once, too. _And_ they’ve hired people for less.

“Hey,” he says slowly, already pulling out his tricorder to schedule in an interview date, “how do you feel about working on a starship?”

And that’s how Starfleet hires their first dog walker.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay, original posts on my tumblr for all of these:  
> [01\. sara + mila fluff](https://xyloophones.tumblr.com/post/183619350653/more-saramila-0g-verse-pls)  
> [02\. smuggling plants via leg brace](https://xyloophones.tumblr.com/post/183619725063/i-know-i-joked-about-yuuri-stubbornly-going-into-a)  
> [03\. vitya gushing to his mom about yuuri](https://xyloophones.tumblr.com/post/183620261283/if-you-find-timeinspiration-for-this-prompt-and)  
> [04\. david](https://xyloophones.tumblr.com/post/183620799518/oh-i-have-two-during-the-five-years-victor-was)  
> [05\. yuuri katsuki, crop top menace](https://xyloophones.tumblr.com/post/183621103428/can-you-give-us-more-yuuri-booty-shorts-and-crop)
> 
> number 6 actually isn't on tumblr, but it was from a tumblr prompt! i just never finished/posted until now 
> 
> again, sorry if you follow me on tumblr n have seen these before! i just wanted them on here so there isn't a huge chunk of the universe that ao3 only users are missing!! and shout out to that anon from a couple days ago, this is for u !! thanks for telling me that ppl actually come back to re read my stuff omg
> 
> happy pride month!! be gay !! do science !! tell ur friends u love them !!

**Author's Note:**

> the original posts are all on my [tumblr, @xyloophones,](https://xyloophones.tumblr.com) under [the 0g tag](https://xyloophones.tumblr.com/tagged/0g), but here are the links to each of the little sections:  
> 01.[brian the salamander](https://xyloophones.tumblr.com/post/171639347728/for-the-writing-prompts-number-11-in-zero-gravity)  
> 02\. [singing while scared](https://xyloophones.tumblr.com/post/168089756223/im-jumping-into-your-ask-box-to-tell-you-that-the)  
> 03.[dungeons dark matter and dogs](https://xyloophones.tumblr.com/post/169822722311/any-dog-is-a-lap-dog-when-you-have-big-thighs-and)  
> 04.[meeting the family](https://xyloophones.tumblr.com/post/169144207938/binary-star-systems)  
> +1 [academy throwback](https://xyloophones.tumblr.com/post/161980625553/21-in-the-to-boldly-go-verse-please-im-obsessed)
> 
> okay i don't have a timeline on the next update and i have learned my lesson about promising yall things (... i realize it's been almost a year im SORRY) but i hope you enjoyed this !!  
> i love yall so much!!


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